No Mama, No!

So yesterday started off as horrible as I thought it would. I couldn’t sleep all night, dreading my return to work and my leaving Mae. I got her up a little early so we could have some cuddle time if in front of Noggin before work. As soon as we pulled in to her preschool, she started crying and saying, “no mama, no!” This is the first time she has ever cried when going to school. Usually she is excited to get there and sit like a grownup at the breakfast table with all the other toddlers. So today was AWEFUL! I cried all the way to work.

I worried about her all day, but when I went to pick her up the teachers said she did wonderfully and didn’t cry at all. Usually, though, she puts up a fight when it is time to go home. I have to follow her around the playground while she shows off all the cool things she gets to do there. But this time she hugged all her friends, said goodbye, and was out the door in two minutes.

I struggle every day with the guilt I have about going to work and not being home with Mae. My mom was able to stay home with me and I always imagined that I would be able to do the same. But financially, we would struggle tremendously. The first six months of Mae’s life I was able to stay home. It was definitely bitter sweet. I adored being with her, but I was guilt ridden over my husband’s job being the only income. I guess no matter what, the situation will never be perfect.